RELATIONSHIPS ARE TOUGH!

Relationships Are Tough

Important Tough times are a reality for every couple. Couples may face major life transitions like such as a new baby, new job or health crisis or retirement. They may face ongoing stressors, like negative work environment, a spouse’s bad health, death of a friend or family member, a financial crisis. Healthy couples get through these tough times — and tough times can even help a couple get closer. While all of us are affected by tough times, additional stress can attribute to a romantic relationship. It is important to acknowledge the stressful situation and work through this situation as a couple. It is important to recognize the challenging situation or the crisis and don’t try to minimize the stressful situation.

It is critical for couples to turn towards each and healthy couples try to show one another support and help. If they support each other then they recognize they need to be in this together. In healthy relationships, couples will actively listen and support each other. She should actively listen and show interest in others perspective, needs and previous experience. A healthy couple can admit if they are wrong and do not become defensive like they feel the partner is blaming them. Tough situations make individuals to behave badly willing to apologize. They do not rationalize or deny disrespectful, hurtful behaviors.

Effectively coping help healthy couples out of hurtful situations. They take time to have fun as a couple and go after healthy distractions like taking walks or watching a humorous movie. They will also take the attitude, this to too shall pass and recognize this stressful time is just a small period of time their long journey as a couple. In contrast unhealthy reactions to problems or issues will cause both partners to feel like they are drowning and do not give themselves time to recharge, they try to completely avoid the issue at hand or distance them from the situation by self-medicating with alcohol, drugs, gambling or marital affairs. Partners should recognize they cope differently and they respect these differences. A woman may need a girl’s night out and talk. Men may want to go out with the boys and play darts with friends.

Healthy couples dealing with tough times need to feel they appreciate each other and their strengths. These couples will seek outside support and find solutions to work out issues at hand, utilizing tools at hand. They will appreciate and genuinely thank their partner for the roles they played in navigating the tough times. Couples in a less healthy relationship will take one another for granted and not recognize their partner’s role in resolving the issue. Blaming your partner will not help each other and it is a big problem in less healthy relationships. Naming blame will turn your spouse or partner into your enemy and make they want to stop trying. It is best not to point fingers even if your partner is the blame instead show a forgiving attitude toward one another. You need to let go of your emotional attachment. You free yourself from future suffering and you need to be aware everyone makes mistakes. The relationship should be more important than being the one in the right and give up the emotional feeling you are experiencing because they are actually only real to you.

There is never just one idea on how to resolve and issue but you should be open to other strategies including your partner’s suggestions. Look at the situation and figure out how you and your partner can grow from this experience as a couple and even allow you to grow closer. Set aside time to discuss the situation and how it affected both of you. Be sure to listen to one another! Look at the concerns you both feel are important and reach an agreement. What would you like for this journey to accomplish and how do you get there. Work on a plan choosing to focus on each person’s strengths, energy and time available to accomplish the tasks. Get the supplies needed to accomplish the goal and remember you are climbing it together and will provide a stronger relationship after the fact. Even touching one another, hugging, kissing and holding hands can provide physical support vitally important in the time of crisis. Be sure to provide gratitude for the role the partner played showing your appreciation. All couples go through stressful events, crises and life-changing transitions but healthy couples get through them and get closer even though these situations are tough.